Friends

So I haven't talked about it much but I think in the last few months my creativity has been holed in by 50ft brick walls. It's been so frustrating and this rut feels inescapable. Which I know isn't true, but... it sure as hell feels like that. Head Trip is about the only thing I can manage (and even then there's a reason there's only one comic a week - lack of ideas) and I feel like that's not the best I could be doing. Everything is so subpar... I've been trying to catch up on all the old commissions I have but everything looks like crap. Just not worth the money these poor people paid me. The longer the rut lasts the worse I feel and the tougher those walls get to climb over.

I've been thinking of ways I might spur the creative strengths back up inside me and something did occur to me... I grew up in a house with artists. My dad, me, my sisters... and with my sisters I'd play a game with them to get our artsier sides working. We'd all sit down and I'd put a song on repeat. We'd all separately (without being allowed to look at each others' work) draw whatever that song put in our heads and/or made us feel. Once we were all done I'd stop the song and we'd show our work. It was fascinating to see what the same song felt to other people and it'd force a lot of creativity in us.

Been considering doing that again... but it's very much a group activity. I still draw to songs if they inspire me strongly enough but the exercise (which I called "The Drawing Game" - I never claimed to be a clever child) works better with people around so you can see what else people come up with. But my sisters are down in San Antonio and we're all adults now leading our own lives and getting together is hard enough but having the time to play a silly drawing game is just about impossible.

So what to do? I considered inviting local artists around once a month or so and have a Drawing Game party or something. Wine and/or tasty cheese can be there to make it more interesting :P but mostly we'd all have our pencils and paper out, I'd put a song on that people all more or less agree doesn't suck, and we'd draw. But I'm shy about inviting people over, especially when I'm so down about my own skills right now. Plus there's that whole "scheduling" thing and artists are notoriously worse than most people about forcing into gatherings ;) Still... I dunno. It's just a thought bouncing around my head. Wouldn't even need to do the music thing, just having time around other artists and drawing together might help.

Maybe. In any case I'm looking for inspiration and creative freedom wherever I can. This adulthood stress with finances and pain and life in general really complicates the human spirit.

Blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda you get the point. Okay. Yeah.

Once more into the fray.
Into the last good fight I'll ever know.
Live and die on this day.
Live and die on this day.

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Indeed, it is my birthday. And here I am, some -08 years after my unlikely birth in the year 1964 (of the Gregorian calendar). And, oh my motherfucking god, I just fucking realized something amazing! 1964 was a leap year, so, on years that are not leap years (unlike this one), my birthday is actually May 27th. Motherfucker. Weird. Anyway, my thanks to everyone who has sent well wishes and gifts. There are truly too many of you. It makes my head swim a bit. Life may be a steaming shitstorm, but at least there's you lot, kittens.

I'm hoping that I will soon be able to make an announcement about the future of the Alabaster comic. Hang tight.

Spooky is having a Caitlín Was (Most Years) Actually Born on the 27th of May Sale in her Dreaming Squid Dollworks and Sundries Etsy Shop. Cool and bow-tie stuff, with FREE SHIPPING, which will run through Monday. In order to take advantage of the sale, you need to use this code during checkout: CRKBIRTHDAY.

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Last night was Kindernacht, of course. After the ritual of an atomic fireball (complimentary from Acme Video), we began our double feature with Olivier Megaton's Colombiana (2011; a film made with the involvement of such film heroes of mine as Luc Besson, Ridley Scott, and Tony Scott). A very enjoyable crime thriller, and, hey, a big dose of Zoe Saldana! Also, Cliff Curtis, and I never get enough of him. The film is smarter and darker than I expected. The ending didn't flinch from the logical consequences following from it's events, a thing always and forever to be admired.

But, Colombiana paled into insignificance by the unexpected jolt of our second feature, Joe Carnahan's The Grey (2011), which I'd not heard of and picked up based on the synopsis on the box and the fact I find Liam Neeson sexy. Anyway, now, here's the director who made Smokin Aces (2002) (a good film, but...) and (**cough cough**) The A-Team (2010). The very last person on earth – okay, that's a lie. Still. Not the man I'd have expected to make the best film I've seen since Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life (2011). I am not heaping hyperbole. This film instills one with a nigh unto indescribable sense of cosmic wonder and dread, and it is beautiful. The cinematography (Masanobu Takayanagi) and the score (Marc Streitenfeld) went a long way to setting this film on the road to brilliance, and every performance is marvelous. Okay, I'm saying too much. You simply have to see it. Please. Trust me.

And Now I'm Even Older,
Aunt Beast

Addison: I saw [old friend] today at 7-11. It's been years! When she spotted me she was all "Addison??" and I was like "Hey, long time! I heard you had a kid!" and she was like "Oh yeah, she's three now." And I felt bad not knowing that, I mean wow.
Me: ... You know she gave that kid up for adoption, right?
Addison: *pause* Now I feel even worse.


lolol yay social awkwardness

On this, the morning before my -08 birthday, I find myself quoting one of Spooky's high-school history teachers: "If you assume, it makes an ass out of you and me." Can I exchange this day for the apocalypse, please? Big space rock, please?

Happy birthday to Billy (docbrite), whom I miss dearly, and for whom I wish a kinder year to come.

Depending who you ask, today is either Geek or Nerd Pride Day. I prefer geek, but whichever. In honor of this, I leave you with the Guild's "I'm The One That's Cool":



Reaching for the Slide Rule and Polyhedral Dice,
Aunt Beast, La Cabrita

*giggle* Polyamory + fandom =

If you want to leave me good wishes, that would make me happy!

Cover art for my novelette "Faster Gun,"  (Working title: "John Henry Holliday is Sick of the These Time-Traveling Assholes") forthcoming on Tor.com this summer.

The artist is Richard Anderson.